Guns and Dolls, Parenting

Guns and Dolls, Parenting
Renkl, M

Toys may be said to be part and parcel of one's childhood. When it comes to children's choice of toys, does parents really have a say? Or children will go for their choice of toys no matter what hinders them? Does gender really matter? These questions have been in a debate tussle for a long while and no one can actually conclude which side was more correct.


Renkl mentioned that children are actually the source of gender division of toys themselves. She thinks that from young when they were not mature enough, they tend to observe whats happening and finally when they can have some reasoning skills on themselves, they can actually conclude that boys are meant to get dirty,aggressive toys and girls will need to have long hair and look pretty.She also mentioned that when children starts to get older, peer pressure picks up a role in their choices too. Through observation they may have observed certain things like guys dont wear skirts, dont play barbie dolls etc, that might not have caused them to make a different choice, but looking at their peers toys, and their preferences, it may really have caused them to change their choice preferences. I agree with the author about children observe their surroundings from young and depended on it in their choice of toys, and it was made worse with peer pressure. It will tend to be weird if you are a boy and you dont play cars and superheros figurines. Also, it will also reduce to a state of being outcasted if you do not play these kind of toys when all your friends of the same gender are. This contributes to a valid point. However, I would like to question if only through observations and pressure that affects children's choice of toys? It seems like there is an increasing trend of girls picking up aggressive toys like guns, and guys picking up domestic products, however in general, boys still go for their stereotyped toys and girls too. Perhaps the author could have mentioned that kids are also influenced by the presence of media which kind of brainwashed them into choosing the types of toys they want. 


In the middle part of the article,the author suggests that a toy is just a toy for children to past time, and it has no relations to the child's development. This claim was supported by Harvard psychologist Dan Kindlon, stating that there was no link established that toys determine the kind of adult they become. Well, I disagree to this claim as I thought that this sentence is rather based  on an assumption rather than with supported evidence. With the emergence of aggressive and violent toys like transformers,spidermen etc, it is only natural that the character traits in these characters are instilled into the child. These fantasy toys are produced with the common theme of victory or destroy, there is sure a significant influence on how the child would behave, being exposed to such toys. Perhaps, this is not the author's viewpoints, as she merely picked the source from somewhere and put into the essay for us to think through. Maybe it's better for her to critique on this claim too. 


The author also suggests that banning a toy could actually backfire. Parents tend to concern in how the child's character is developed, and thus it is only natural that they only allow certain toys to be given to the child. I agree to her point. Somehow, gender stereotype is something cultivated since young, as it is natural for guys and girls to go for different toys. It's in their genes. Even if a parent gives her boy barbie dolls, the boy might not even like it or play with it. However, when we talk about backfire, we may also be saying that child will go do things otherwise behind their parents, which actually might result in a worse consequences. 


So, can child be nurtured from young? Or is just a natural behaviour and it is impossible to change? I would pick nature. No matter how much you try to nurture your child not to fall into the gender divided loop, there will always be a distinct difference in the choice of toys for boys and girls. The author is also good to suggest that in the nurture aspect, unless the father and mother are willing to cross dress to bring up the child, it is not possible. The child picks up through observations, and they can observe the most from their parents. Thus I think nature should be the reason.


In conclusion, since gender stereotype is ongoing for ages, and there is not much alternatives one can change such a trend, other than educations from school, parents. However, it all depends on how the child is reacting to toys and this behaviour comes from the genes which one cannot really fathom and change accordingly. The author has made the essay such that we can actually think through, and these points are not necessary her point of view but sources taken from different places. It's good that we get to evaluate and analyse each point and we can come to a conclusion. This never ending debate will still go on, it's more important that we know our views.